what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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