Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
