Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
