Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
