she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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