marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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