this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
