Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
