Moan for me like Helen Keller
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
