there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize