So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
