I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
