so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize