What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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