WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
