Don't you send me to vm
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
