Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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