is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
