Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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