Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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