Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
