O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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