I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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