Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
