oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
