Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
