Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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