I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
