Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
