come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
