Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I lost the right to judge tonight
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
