his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
