looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
