How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
