Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
