we're blogging at a bar
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
