I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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