The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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