My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
