I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
