Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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