A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
