even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
