none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
