I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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