we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
