she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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