Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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