He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
