i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I forget how to act sober
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