i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
