Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
