yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
