My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
