my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
