I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
