I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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