In the future we'll all be gay
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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