he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
