Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
