hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize