pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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