The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
