she was so not down for the gang bang
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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