if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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