Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
