a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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