DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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