I am puke
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
