So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
