direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
