I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
